May 26, 2005
i dont know what to do with myself. everything's been taken out from under me. i was so happy. and now its all gone. i was just so happy that i had someone who i could trust and who i loved and loved me and that i had so much fun with. and now its just over. and theres nothing i can do. i dont understand what went wrong. was i an idiot to believe someone when they said they loved me. i feel like such an idiot. for the past month you've still told me you loved me and all the while you didnt. i feel so cheap. what i thought meant something meant nothing at all. i dont understand. everything was fine just 2 days ago. i dont want to feel like this. im a complete wreck and you probably just feel relieved. god i was so happy.i dont want to lose that. i dont want to feel this way. i dont want to believe that you werent in love with me. all that we did together and all the time spent and you just want to be pals. was i just not enough. i tried to be a good girlfriend. but it just wasnt enough. i dont want to believe that it was all a lie. ive been completely fucked. you told me that you loved me just the other day as i was leaving your house. and you sounded so sincere and it felt so good. but really for weeks you havent loved me. and then on monday. oh god. why would you do that to me when you dont have any feelings for me. yes it is so wrong. i loved you. ive never loved anyone before like that and you brushed it off. god. i was just so happy. all the times we spent together and all the intimate moments we had and you dont love me. you just dont love me. what changed. what changed in one month that made you completly fall out of love with me. i dont know what to do. i loved you and i trusted you. and what did that get me. i was so excited about the summer and now i just feel... broken. and you didnt even shed a single tear for our relationship. a few days ago you said you loved me and now you're probably happy to be rid of me. this doesnt seem right.
posted by sarah 1:51 PM
