Oct 17, 2004
i can't let the first amendment down.... its the only one i know!
talked to my mom on the way down to richmond on friday. she offered to stay in maryland another year, until i got things together. i told her i was already planning on moving out, on trying to rent a house. she seemed relieved. so mom's going to move to kansas city this summer. dad will probably move to northern virginia or something. either way, the house is going to be sold soon. which doesnt bother me all that much, with most of my family not living there, it doesnt really seem like home anyway. i'm applying to maryland. thinking about majoring in historic preservation. part of me seems disappointed in this. like telling people "oh, i'm going to maryland next year." is the same as saying "yeah, i sorta ran out of ideas..." but thats stupid. going to any other state school wouldnt be some exciting fresh start that 15 year olds idealize it to be. and the only reason why i feel disappointed is because i don't want to let down the goals i had when i was younger. but what the hell did i know when i was younger? nothing. so who cares. i dont want to leave this area yet. i like it here. its home to me. and moving would just be stupid. its not that i'm scared to leave, i just dont want to. so i'm applying to maryland. and if i get in, i'll try to get a house in the college park area. i cant live in a dorm. because wherever i live will be my home. and during the summer and breaks, i'd be homeless. so i hope i get into maryland. i guess i should apply to a few other colleges as kind of a "fall back". i'll see. i'm not really psyched about all this. because i'm not really excited about going to school in general. but i am looking forward to next year, just what i'll be doing i dont know.
posted by sarah 11:26 AM
