Jul 23, 2004
Secretly A Tease
there's some days where i just wake up feeling like crap or something will stress me out or just piss me off. but those days never last that long. and beneath all the bad moments i am really really happy. that's where i'm at right now. extremely happy.
posted by sarah 11:53 PM
Jul 14, 2004
mmmmm... i dont even have anything to say i feel too good right now.
posted by sarah 12:24 AM
mmmmm... i dont even have anything to say i feel too good right now.
posted by sarah 12:24 AM
Jul 9, 2004
i've gotten so lazy
just curl up on the couch pretending to watch tv.
there will be no reason to leave.
posted by sarah 12:21 AM
Jul 5, 2004
extreme highs followed by crushing lows
wow. i am extremely unhappy today. my fourth of july was ok at first. we went over to the heberts and it was a nice time with my family. but then they turned crazy and it got ridiculous. i dont think its outlandish to want to go see fireworks with my friends on the 4th of july, or to hang out with my friends up the street. but i guess we just dont see eye-to-eye on some things. i am frustrated as all hell. my mom needs to get off her ass and get a job like she said she was going to do months ago so we can get out of this house. i can not take my dad's drunken fits anymore. i get yelled at every day for the most inane crap and it is really just ridiculous. it just keeps getting more and more insane. my dad is seriously starting to become senile. EVERYTHING is some sort of conspiracy. like the garbage men not picking up branches because they werent in bags. thats not just their policy. that is because of their union being corrupted by drug dealers so they cant fit the branches in the truck "because its filled with needles". and john kerry... gay. huge queer. he was wearing a PINK tie the other day. ignore the wife standing next to him..... PINK TIE! he's gay. and if i say anything.... ANYTHING... its always "SARAH!! DONT START WITH ME!!!" biiiiiitch. it is just so goofy. i dont think i'm overreacting here. i'm just so fed up. it makes me so unhappy to be home. but whenever i try to go anywhere with anyone i get an attitude from both my parents. BAH!!! 9 months.
posted by sarah 1:01 AM
Jul 2, 2004
I've been looking back at a lot of my old posts from the past few years. Besides the naive and simple perspective caused by being 14, I had a lot of good ideas back then. Well, maybe they weren't all good, but I had a lot of ideas back then and I think that may be what's more important. I should really start reading again. I did read a few good books this year that definetly taught me something or at least gave me a new perspective on things. The Autobiography of Malcolm X was a book that I was surprised I liked. When you read about someone's childhood and experiences, you tend to understand and be more compassionate about things they do that previously upset you. I saw Farenheit 9/11 a few days ago with Chris. It was exaggerated in some areas and definitely slanted to cater to Micheal Moore's personal opinions. But it was still a good movie. I definetly left the theater even more pissed off then I was before. It's frustrating. There is no information that anyone can give me that I can put stock on. The media, the politicians, the counter-culture, the protesters... everyone puts their own spin on things. Not being able to separate fact from fantasy is the most frustrating thing in the world. How can there be truth with so many different stories circulating? But of course something really is happening. There is a war going on, and something triggered it. But that's all I, or anyone else, can tell you. I don't know whether Saddam Hussein had weapons or not, or what his plans were. I don't know if the people of Iraq were being brutalized under his control, or if they are being brutalized under ours. I couldn't tell you what Bush's intentions were with this war, to free the Iraqi people or fill his pockets. I want there to be clarity. I want people to stop effing over others and to fight for what's right. But how can I know what is right when I don't even know what's going on? It is so frustrating! This is why we are all so apathetic. This is why I would rather play video games and watch Conan then give a damn. I want things to be better but it just gets so complicated. I do not trust George Bush though. There is no way I can believe that the war in Iraq was a humanitarian effort from a man trying to make a constitutional ammendment to ban gay marriages. A humanitarian can't be someone who denies people rights and privledges because of who they are. I don't even know. If I can't find any clarity to what's going on, I really can't care about it.
posted by sarah 12:53 AM
