Feb 5, 2004
forked tongue
this is definetly the climax, or the turning point or something. it seems that everything familiar, whether it be good or bad, is crumbling away and i'm not sure what ground i stand on. i got into a car accident today. i tried to stop but my car did not and i hit a car from behind. no one was seriously hurt and the other car has minimal damage but my nova is dead. no more nova. means no more car. means no more driving. my dad gets home from virginia tomorrow, and my mom was supposed to leave for kansas tomorrow too but she cancelled her flight. she didnt want to leave me alone to deal with him. thank god. i dont think i could do it. he's really terrible. he has no respect for me and he's just.... always criticizing... always assuming i'm up to no good and punishing me for something. anyone who knows me knows that i'm not a bad kid by a long shot. i may a bit of a jerk but in no way a reckless or rebelious teenager. its so crazy that the psychic predicted all of this. she told me that they wouldnt last much longer after my brother moved out. i hadnt even told her my brother was moving out. so now my mom says my dad will be out of the house by the end of the month. and i'm learning that she's been wanting to divorce him since before i was born. i feel so bad for her. she feels so terrible, like she let us down. i told her it was ok, that he failed her as a husband. because he did. its seriously terrible. i shouldnt be afraid and stressed out like i am. this is all so terribly confusing and the transition will be tough. my family is so spread out and falling apart it seems but i can only hope things would get better. i have a feeling i'll like my dad a lot more if i'm not living with him. i remember the psychic also saying that i wont want anything to do with him for a few years. i dont know. i hope things will be ok. this is all so surreal. i never thought things would turn out this way. i'm scared.
posted by sarah 12:47 AM
