The Burdens of Being Upright

Dec 31, 2003

happpy new year!

i've not been looking forward to doing this but its that time again, to recap this past year. holy crap though, it seems to have gone by very quickly. its like i just wrote that 2002 recap a week ago. i cant even think of anything i did this year so this will be tough but here it goes...

january. i got my learners permit. i took drivers ed with kara. i was all sad or something about paul. but i wrote some pretty good stuff.

february. our country was all hyped up about going to war. i saw chicago a few times and went sledding. katie had a dream that i died.

march. some drunk guy read my tarot cards at a majority rule show. one thing he said made sense. the war officially started. i went out with mattcodyray for a little bit.

april. i turned 16. i wrote a nice little nostalgic poem. i went to a car show in pennsylvania with matt and johnny and their dads.

may. i got my license. me and angie went to boston and salem.

june. i dyed my hair back to blonde. well, sort of. me and hannah hung out a lot. me and kyle started hanging out. our air conditioner was broken. i bought a pin maker. i went to new york for a week and worked with habitat for humanity.

july. i started watching degrassi a lot because it was always on. played a lot of pool at soaps.

august. went to ocean city. went to cedar point with the family. then to kansas where my aunt gave me the nova. started school again.

september. started work at holy trinity again. got a dollar raise. took eric to ohio for college. hurricane isabel knocked out the power for a few days. angie and sean and them got in a car accident. saw reverend horton heat show. that was cool.

october. went to forest glen. started hanging out with bill. saw american nightmare (err.. give up the ghost), that was awesome. saw kill bill. me and katie went on a tour of an old house. halloween show at riva trace. i was a mobster, i looked cool.

november. i got a 3.87 on my report card. my parents went out of town and i had fun. a truck hydroplaned and banged in my car door (which i have yet to fix). i bought erin's digital camera from her.

december. well, its still december.ummm. angie's birthday party. city of caterpillar broke up. one of my kids crapped on the floor a lot. i got a parking ticket. christmas was nice.

so looking back, this year doesnt seem too great. and i guess it wasnt. but i dont know, i think i had fun. i'm not really sure actually.... but..... 2004 WILL ROCK MY EFFING SOCKS OFF!!! it had better.

posted by sarah 12:46 AM

Dec 28, 2003

brrreaking the rules breaking the ruuules

i got my very first ticket today. be proud. me and jason and ryan and paul were at terrapin taco and i just forgot to feed the meter. what was ironic, or maybe not ironic but really funny, is that we were inside literally throwing around a bunch of quarters. i'd say at least 8 bucks worth. anycrap, the ticket's for 17 bucks. i'm a felon.

posted by sarah 12:37 AM

Dec 27, 2003

growing up and growing apart seem to be synonymous. and i know i've used this metaphor before but its hard to have your head in the clouds when your feet are planted firmly on the ground. dug in, even. maybe its about time to let go? i'm quite ready for 2003 to end. it seems as though this entire year never really began, but was just a year to relive and forget the one before. surely 2004 will hold something more to write about. good or bad, i'm just ready for a change. its this restlessness that i'm sure everyone must feel. completely disgusted with the same morning routes, but far too tired to go any different way. so maybe i am a little scared. and maybe i am a little hesitant and stuck in my ways. but. who knows.

posted by sarah 1:10 AM

Dec 23, 2003

ghost of christmas past

so here is my favorite christmas memory:

back in the day, we'd always go to our church to help wrap the presents for charity. but, being kids, we'd mostly just goof around the whole night. lots of wrapping paper would be used which could only mean lots of those cardboard wrapping paper tubes. we'd go collect them all then chase eachother around the halls with them. thats my favorite memory from christmas; running around the halls of our church with my brothers and sister beating the crap out of eachother with cardboard tubes.

posted by sarah 11:07 PM

Dec 16, 2003

theres blood on my nice new jeans

well sir, i dont feel like much of myself lately. i find myself looking in the mirror to remind me of who i am. i try to ruin everything for everyone and i dont know why. its like i'm trying to protect them, but, i dont know, i'm just so tired. and overwhelmed. and i'm doing much worse than i should be in school. and its not that i want to please my parents or anything. its actually important to me. and its not just that. everything. i just feel so much dumber lately. and then i reach for the phone and i dont know who to call. (ghostbusters?) like i have these friends in my mind but in my mind they're more than they are and i dont know if this makes sense but. i dont know. i dont feel like myself. and i dont remember what myself felt like.

posted by sarah 11:57 PM

holy crap i forgot! the 10th was my blogger's 2 year birthday! hooray for blogger! hooray for 2 years! 2 years. my oh my. so much and yet so little has happened in 2 years. i'm all grown up. except not even close.

posted by sarah 11:07 PM

Dec 15, 2003

treating objects like they're women

i dont know why there's that whole ordeal over "what are you gonna be when you grow up" thing. i figure, i'm not going to rich. i really have no expectations of being the least bit wealthy. and my ADD-like self will never be able to hold one job for the rest of my life. which is why it occured to me, i dont want a career. thats the stupidest thing. i want to change to a completely different field every few years or weeks or whenever i get bored. at some point i want to own a store, be a truck driver, build houses, teach at a highschool, and lots of other things. i know this seems like i'm aiming low but the world doesnt need anymore half-rate rock stars.

posted by sarah 12:24 AM

Dec 8, 2003

when you're climbing up a ladder and you feel something splatter...

one of my kids crapped on the floor at work today. not on himself, not on the toilet, just a big pile of crap on the floor in the bathroom. it was sick. i wanted to throw him out the window. then i made 4 bucks because it was my late night. hooray for a dollar a minute!

posted by sarah 11:29 PM

Dec 7, 2003

the shadows paint lines over everything in the room

i realized last night that i'm not much of a party person. last night was caitlin and angie's birthday party at kate's house. i had a good time. kate has a really nice house. i hope caitlin and angie had a good time. angie looked really pretty in her new dress. it was a perfect party dress. caitlin seemed kind of disappointed at first, i hope she ended up having a good time. ('a blast' as they might say on saved by the bell).

sean's sick. he might have menangitis which i really dont know a lot about. only that you can get it if people poop in the pool. but i doubt thats how he got it. if he has it. i feel kinda sick right now, but its probably just a cold or a sore throat.... or scavies. you know, one of those.

posted by sarah 5:06 PM

Dec 3, 2003

the face forgives the mirror

my blogger's 2nd birthday is in 7 days. hooray. its interesting to go back a year and see what my entry was a year ago today. it becomes less of a reality. more like a story i once read. or a movie that i only half remember. i would say time heals all wounds but its not really time that does it. it just takes time. speaking of wounds, i took a nice hot relaxing bath (which my stressed out self sorely needed) and slipped while shaving my legs and cut my knee in about 5 places. it didnt even hurt. i'm sick of writing.

city of caterpillar broke up. so sad. so no show on friday. i guess i'll go to st andrews instead. can you believe its been 3 years?

posted by sarah 11:06 PM