Jun 8, 2003
you make my bad days worse
saturday! what a day for thrift stores! i got FOUR members only jackets! a blue one, a white one, a tan one, and a brown one. i gave the brown one to hannah. i found this pink dirndle (type of german dress) and its soooo beautiful. i have to let it out a little though so my boobs can fit. me and hannah have joint custody of this old fishtail skateboard we found. right now its in the trunk of my car. i found a few other pretty things and it was overall a very fun trip. hannah and me are so similar. i cant believe she had the same plans for that old goodwill that i did. scary. later me, hannah, and angie went to a show at the nygurmrunrururmbru cultural center at the student union. horrrrrrrible. completely destroyed my day. kim was there. ahh i did not want to be reminded that her and paul and that whole situation exists. destroyed my night. i wanted to throw an axe right into her stupid face. with her stupid 'i look bored so i must be cool' eyes and her stupid looks-like-she's-about-to-burp mouth and her stupid multi-colored hair. slhfdshfds. i wonder if paul still reads this. i wonder if he still fools around with kim. i wonder if there's any girls he likes now. i wonder if he'll ever fucking talk to me about it. i wonder how long this will last. i want to just go back to last summer. before everything. shit. i just want to be free of all this. its not fair. that he left so many things to remember him by. i cant walk past a ritz, drive by soil conservation rd, think of the hirshhorn, go to dennys, see a camry, listen to dillinger, go to the ottobar read vanderbilt on a flyer, look at my wrists, see most cds, do anything without thinking about him and just gah. i dont want any of this. i dont want to be bitter or have a history or any of this. i just feel terrible. remember that show Dinosaurs? that was a sitcom and had the little baby dinosaur that would hit the dad over the head and say 'not the mamma'. you have to. whenever they would open the refridgerator, you'd see the arms of these creatures trying to escape and they'd be screeching and clawing at the door. thats how i feel. like i have those stupid creatures inside and they're just tearing me up. cheesy fog machine and all.
posted by sarah 10:41 PM
