The Burdens of Being Upright

Jun 30, 2003

i kiss you i kiss you/i cut you i cut you

so much to write about. ok. last week i was in yonkers, new york working with habitat for humanity. i moved boxes (about 600 of them), carried dry wall, painted porches and apartment walls, hammered, sawed, dug a trench in gravel (with my bare hands), stapled, and ahhhhh. i am left sunburnt, tired, sore, and with a suitcase full of rank clothes. i missed so much while i was gone. angie got her diploma! i could not be more proud and happy for her! i want to take her out and celebrate how much better she is than everyone. (the psychic was off, you killed science.) ahh. oh, saturday. after i got back from new york, me and kyle went to a show at wmuc. i like marathon. the singer reminded me of mr bean. dead vice prez is wonderful. i got to see waldorf katie and billy doll. my lovelies. the show at sanders, before i left for new york, was nice. i got a honkin yellow silent reminder shirt which i wore and subsequently spilled salsa all over. hopefully it will come out, if not i'll just have some killer stains i'll say are from blood. what else. people like you if you have food. talked to paul after the show. what a messy kid. i dont feel like myself around him anymore. i feel like i'm playing a part. like a certain role in a play, "the ex-girlfriend". all the world's a stage, i suppose. either way i'm ready for something more.

posted by sarah 1:30 AM

Jun 22, 2003

its about stupid girls, and the stupid boys that like stupid girls

welp. tomorrow morning i'm leaving for new york. i'll be gone for a week. building a house. hm. i dont know about this summer. today seemed like a warning. a glimpse of how it will be. i just want to lie on the couch and watch tv. no more getting up for me.

posted by sarah 12:24 AM

Jun 21, 2003

unfinished

1.
all those slutty girls make me want to hurl
charming mouths spill out drunken words
that intoxicate lost boys and curl
them around their little fingers
but their breath still lingers
to expose the recycled stories
same ideas and same old worries
'like if a double decker bus crashed into us'...

2.
oh the pretention
you whore for attention
charming the masses with your stolen invention
dark eye liner cloaks your eyes and runs down your cheek
i know its mysterious to you but its all the same to me
in black and white pictures the girls never smile
give up personality for a clever profile
bad lighting
bad taste
such a waste
of a pretty face.

posted by sarah 1:49 AM

Jun 17, 2003

Et tu?

my pin maker came today and i made lots of pins and you do not have a pin maker because you are not awesome like i am and i am so awesome because i can make pins that say so and all you can do is drool. the end.

posted by sarah 10:23 PM

Jun 15, 2003

sugar is bad for your teeth

i saw pat and monchie today. i miss my asian boys. remember last spring, fun times. remember last summer, yeah. last summer was a riot. hope this summer is too.
welp, air conditioner is still broked. i'm dying. but the 24-hour sweating is doing wonders for my skin. i guess i'm sweating out all the impurites. see? everything is wonderful.

it seems the more of the world we see, the less time we spend thinking about its possibilities. lord how i miss the imagination i had when i was younger. when clouds were so much more than water vapor. science classes ruined me.

posted by sarah 12:15 AM

Jun 12, 2003

return to stoicism

so stoic came up in my english class and the philosophy makes some sense to me. rabble rabble rabble. i saw mike breen today. we chatted. how i miss java head, which is now a taco house. i bought a pin maker online. it should be here in a few days. and i bought a belt buckle shaped like a camera. its neat. indeed. so life is wonderful and who has the balls to say otherwise. i have an 89% in my biology class. we disected a frog today. it squirted its juice at me when i ventured to locate the spleen. tasty. what do spleen's do? yesterday was kate jacob's birthday. she's so pretty. so 6 more days of school. then its off to new york for a week to build a house. high school's half over. it goes by quickly. sickly. i have the urge to make a yellow shirt with a green rattle snake that says 'dont tread on me'.

i'm just a Q without a you

rainy days wash the crud away

posted by sarah 7:52 PM

Jun 10, 2003

young and stupid, apparently

something's wrong with blogger and its weird. yeah yeah. some kids are dumb. and some are just assholes. with their stupid advice. shove it up your wanker!

its all comedy. comedy.

posted by sarah 9:45 PM

Jun 8, 2003

you make my bad days worse

saturday! what a day for thrift stores! i got FOUR members only jackets! a blue one, a white one, a tan one, and a brown one. i gave the brown one to hannah. i found this pink dirndle (type of german dress) and its soooo beautiful. i have to let it out a little though so my boobs can fit. me and hannah have joint custody of this old fishtail skateboard we found. right now its in the trunk of my car. i found a few other pretty things and it was overall a very fun trip. hannah and me are so similar. i cant believe she had the same plans for that old goodwill that i did. scary. later me, hannah, and angie went to a show at the nygurmrunrururmbru cultural center at the student union. horrrrrrrible. completely destroyed my day. kim was there. ahh i did not want to be reminded that her and paul and that whole situation exists. destroyed my night. i wanted to throw an axe right into her stupid face. with her stupid 'i look bored so i must be cool' eyes and her stupid looks-like-she's-about-to-burp mouth and her stupid multi-colored hair. slhfdshfds. i wonder if paul still reads this. i wonder if he still fools around with kim. i wonder if there's any girls he likes now. i wonder if he'll ever fucking talk to me about it. i wonder how long this will last. i want to just go back to last summer. before everything. shit. i just want to be free of all this. its not fair. that he left so many things to remember him by. i cant walk past a ritz, drive by soil conservation rd, think of the hirshhorn, go to dennys, see a camry, listen to dillinger, go to the ottobar read vanderbilt on a flyer, look at my wrists, see most cds, do anything without thinking about him and just gah. i dont want any of this. i dont want to be bitter or have a history or any of this. i just feel terrible. remember that show Dinosaurs? that was a sitcom and had the little baby dinosaur that would hit the dad over the head and say 'not the mamma'. you have to. whenever they would open the refridgerator, you'd see the arms of these creatures trying to escape and they'd be screeching and clawing at the door. thats how i feel. like i have those stupid creatures inside and they're just tearing me up. cheesy fog machine and all.

posted by sarah 10:41 PM

Jun 1, 2003

when sorrow comes in summer days, roses bloom in vain

tomorrow i'm getting my hair cut up and dyed. so theres this guy in dc that gives hair cuts but instead of cutting the hair he burns it. thats not where i'm getting my hair done but i should try that some day.// hannah's my new best friend because she's almost as big of a dork as i am. we're going to knit and needlepoint together like all cool kids should.// i'm most-likely going to order a pin maker and make pins. should i spend the $100? i think so.// i dont like sluts.// heathers is a good movie. makes me want to kill people. or bone winona ryder.// before she want klepto. // tomorrow's my last day of work. bye kids.// i didnt accomplish half the things on my list today.// i wonder what the weather's going to be like tomorrow.// majority rule's new cd is nice.// my ideas are dumb.// midol doesnt work.// i signed caitlin's boob yesterday. they were very supple.// i need a job this summer.//

posted by sarah 11:06 PM