Jan 27, 2003
i never said that i was brave
i can't even fucking concentrate as 3 letters stare me in the face. shouldnt childhood episodes of saved by the bell have prepared me for this?
liars.
sympathizers.
february 1st will be my rebirth. my renaissance. art, science, philosophy. no more plagues because i'm immune now. i struggled through the middle ages and now i'm ready to find my da vinci. i cannot fucking wait.
this is the end. this is my last week to be bitter. the last few days of my brick-to-his-face fantasies. come feb 1, i am reborn. paul will be no different than any other child molestor or drug addict i see lying on the streets. trampled beneath the wheels of innovation. nerpal was right, i need to drown myself in music.
think beck, "things are gonna change i can feel it."
think american nightmare, "dreams are trash on the side of the road. starry-eyed, tongue all tied, there's something you should know..."
think mewithoutyou, "dont waste your lips on words i've heard before"
think bane, "the only way to ever really know life's lessons is when it smacks you right in the face."
think shai hulud, oh man just listen to anything you can get your hands on written by shai hulud. here's a song to keep you (me) going:
i have to let you die. i have to let you fade. so spare me the male accusations. i would have told you those things you wanted to hear. and i would have cared the way you thought no one ever would. and now my heart bleeds cold. i refuse to be caressed by stone. i now live emotionless and free from your pain. my heart bleeds the darkest blood. my heart is as cold as stone, a rock feels no pain. no laughter. no loving. no contact.
(my heart bleeds the darkest blood - shai hulud)
posted by sarah 11:56 PM
