The Burdens of Being Upright

Dec 31, 2002

and they could get away with murder if they smiled fake enough

my year in review:

::january::
january was weird. it came right after i started seriously questioning christianity. by the end of the month i was disenchanted with the whole idea of religion and was somewhere between atheism and insanity. i think it was in january that i met mike breen. i got my lowest grade ever on my report card; an E in english. i think i was pretty sad most of this month or just thought i was.

::february::
february was reflectionary. i went to virginia with cedar ridge one weekend. i began to get my thoughts together about religion. katie and i got really mad at erin one night and i pushed her or something. i think i was kind of confused or sad or unsatisfied this month. i wrote a lot of silly prose.

::march::
march was fun. there were thoughts of a band starting on longmeade and me playing drums. that idea never got anywhere. there was a show at the student union that was a lot of fun. i started going to java head every tuesday. i met pat, chris, and monchie. they're great. i started going out with trevor, he was my first boyfriend. me, katie, angie, and erin had that big discussion at katie's house. the idea of making a zine was started. that idea, too, never got anywhere. i discovered i was an agnostic.

::april::
april was silly. me, trevor, katie, pat, monchie, erin, and mike all went to dc for a picnic and cherry blossoms. me and trevor broke up after 9 days. i turned 15. me and angie started hanging out more. i had a show at my house on the 25th. me and pat started getting closer. i think this was when paul started liking me and things got complicated.

::may::
may was crazy. i slipped on pickle juice in safeway and got a big bruise on my knee. me and erin were fighting and then making up then fighting then making up then fighting then.... and on and on. java head every tuesday, along with the echo spot which i had almost forgotten about. i told angie something that i had never told anyone before. started hanging out with matt, paul, and kevin more. katie was living in greenbelt with her mom now. i went to prom with kevin. i find out about my parents. crazy kids on pcp in bowie yell at us with knives.

::june::
june was employing. i started work at flowers high school typing curriculums for the board of education. me and katie both did. it was fun. things fell apart with pat, as things tend to do. i went to my first ever bane show. life was good. things with parents got worse. but life was still good. a frog peed on me. i think this was when i met dean or it might have been in may. me and erin began to fall apart.

::july::
july was hot. i painted one of my walls red. i went to a shai hulud show. i went to dennys a lot. me and erin just stopped being friends. lots of online fighting. i went to kansas city and indiana with mom and eric. we bought fireworks. me, katie, angie, matt, kevin, bryan, and eric went to OC for a few days. remember the alamo?

::august::
august was explosive. lots of late night fun with fireworks and cones. me and paul went to OC and everyone was down there. this is when katie and kevin started going out. me and paul got closer. i went to a ben kweller show. school started again. eric got his license or that might have been a month or two earlier.

::september::
september was happy. life was happy and beautiful and fun and just great. me and paul started going out on the 30th. i was happy and optimistic. i met a lot of fun kids at school. i think i also met sam this month. some things were still bad. this is when i saw my friend passed out drunk on the sidewalk. it was the one year anniversary of the world trade center attacks as well.

::october::
october was full of holes. the sniper came to our area. things were not as they should be on the news. in my life, things were great. things with paul were fun. i saw bane again. life was good. i started working at the aftercare at holy trinity.

::november::
november was fleeting. i saw the strokes. it was nice. life was school and work. i think i was content. i saw the dillinger escape plan. on the last day, paul said we should go on a break. i didnt mind. i was naive.

::december::
december was a shot in the head. paul told me that he cheated on me with kim. i died. i spent the month trying to distract myself from everything. trying to get over it all. family and cousins came home for christmas. it was fun. i went to NYC with my mom, aunt, and cousin kathy. i bought a bootleg copy of the jackass movie. i spent new years in the best possible way, surrounded by friends at dennys.

::present::
things still are shit. but are starting to get better. i'm beginning to get silly ideas in my head, silly april 15th ideas. i guess i should forget about them for a while. also, mike mcnulty is the coolest person in the world.

posted by sarah 3:19 PM