Feb 1, 2002
you're the malignant tumor and i'm the innocent organ
some girls dress up every day for school. you can tell they spent an hour on their hair and picked out their outfit the night before. what do i do? well, i'm glad you asked... i wear green pj pants, a white t shirt (when am i not wearing a white t shirt?) and i take my shoes off in every class because its all about comfort for me. but oh yes, back to the cryptic ramblings that make no sense to anyone but me and even i'm not so sure...
listen to headphones. focus only on the drums. try to tune out the rest of the music. listen to the drums. amazing. you're no longer listening to music. you become the music. it swallows you... bi-polar. i can't decide what i feel anymore. thousands of voices screaming. no choice but to listen to them all, or tune them all out. the part of me that's still alive can see beauty in whats new. oppurtunity in a being. potential for happiness. potential for a fall. am i too late? you're so beautiful and hideous. i can't look at you without wanting to hug you and kill you. disgusting how i feel. disgusting how i choose my happiness over yours. disgusting how i won't settle for what i want. perfection is right in front of me screaming sonnets on my front lawn. but i'm still chasing after someone i'll never have and don't even want to have anyway. so used to the chase. can't just sit still. it's sickening. the madness lurks behind every corner. i try to stand up tall. hard to do when you swing at my knees with baseball bats. fall down and crawl. stare at the sky through a roof. dig through the pavement and find what used to be there. the mirror lies. that isnt me.
posted by sarah 11:13 PM
