Jan 9, 2002
when good hair goes bad
meaningless: lindsay dyed my hair today and i dyed hers. i was expecting a nice dark red but it turns out to be a reddish copper. it's nice but not what i wanted. we tried to dye hers lighter but you can't even tell we did anything to it. meh. my day today was craptacular. (no, it was fine) some of my friends at school think that i'm this crazy insomniac that never gets any sleep because i doze off in class a lot. but i actually got to bed at a reasonable time last night (before midnight). i wasn't even tired today but if i'm just sitting there doing nothing it always makes me sleepy. so in typing class i fell asleep b/c for the last 20 minutes of class we were doing nothing. literally. i used my nice scarf as a pillow and when the bell rang it woke me up. i walked upstairs to 5th pd. extension where my friend tells me about the lines going across half of my face. the scarf left an impression. it was pretty funny to me in my just-awoken state. and oh no, the people in the hallway saw me with lines on my face. *gasp* how embarrassing... (not really) in my 2nd period class (spanish) the heater is broken and blows out cold air so it's always freezing in there. my teacher decided that we'd have hot cocoa and donuts on friday in order to deal with it. which is fine by me. my job is to bring in some donuts. i wrote it on my wrist so i wont forget. (this entry is getting a little pointless...) good news, i finally decided what i'm doing for my science fair project. i'm gonna see what types of salts and shit melt ice fastest. (brilliant, eh?) it's due on monday so my weekend is going to be me melting ice. (fun.) let's see, what other interesting details about my day can i share... oh yes. i was on the computer earlier and my brother had made a list of songs that he was gonna download and it was sitting next to me. my dad walks in and reads one of the songs off of the list (key lime pie ~ AFI) "A - F - I ? what does that stand for?" "it stands for a fire inside, dad" "a fire inside, eh? is that what they need the key lime pie for? to put put out the fire? ha ha ha" that was just too cheesy. i hope i never tell jokes like that to my kids. i think the meaningless part of this post has gone on far enough...
serious: erin's going through a hard time right now what with leah being sick. i want to be there for her but i have no clue what to say to her. i don't have any comforting, reassuring words that i can tell her to dry her tears. all i can do is listen. and i cant help feel that its not enough and that i'm failing her as a friend. erin helped me get through all the shit that i was stressing about a few weeks ago and i just want to be able to do the same for her. i love you erin. i've gotten stronger, if you need to lean on me, go ahead, i wont fall over anymore.
all this talk of death lately has got me thinking. (uh oh) i don't know what happens after you die, if anything. and when i do stop and think about it all, it does terrify me. i could die at anytime but living each day as though it were my last would get tiresome. i'm not thinking about death, there's no point. i'm going to die. shit. sooner, later, whatever. what really terrifies me is that my last few seconds could be filled with thoughts of regret. i don't want to regret anything or think "if only..." i want to live.
posted by sarah 7:23 PM
