Jan 11, 2002
weightless
a thousand apologies to erin and katie for bitching at you last night. i was angry. why was i angry? 14 years of supression and denial. :-)
i take my life way too seriously, we all do. we're all a bunch of whiny cynical brats with impossible standards and expectations. we all want to feel special and wanted. then the truth hits you like a punch in the face, you are not special. you are not going to live happily ever after. take a look around. see this world, this is it for you. this is the blank canvas that you are given, paint it how you will.
today started like all other days. it was cold and rainy and made me feel like shit. i was annoyed with lindsay for the skin she puts on at school because i know she's so much more. i purposely walked a few feet in front of her on the way to my locker in the morning. while i was at my locker she complained that her new boots had gotten wet or some other trivial thing about her outfit. i nodded along and pretended to be interested while in my head i thought of calling her out for what she is and imagined the hurt look on her face as i screamed of what she's become. *sigh* and i used to be so nice. i love lindsay, she is the greatest person, just not at school. i want the whole world to see how beautiful she really is, i wish she wouldnt hide it. so i go to 1st period feeling slightly annoyed and i brace myself for another day... after 1st period i'm walking to my locker. i see a lone bubble floating in the hallway above the heads of all the kids. (someone must have been blowing bubbles earlier) a thousand memories of summer days spent with lindsay blowing bubbles, jumping through sprinklers, riding bikes... i couldnt help but stop and watch the little bubble's flight. my little bubble was sent this way and that while the kids rushed by, unaware of the beauty that was taking place above their heads. as the number of kids began to dwindle, the bubble slowly floated towards the ground. i couldnt help but reach out my hand to try and save it from its own demise. of course the bubble popped. some things just arent meant to be held.
posted by sarah 3:47 PM
