Dec 12, 2001
zzzzzzzz...
I read somewhere that it is recommended you get 8 - 10 hours of sleep a night. yeah, i get 6 at the most. usually 4 or 5. is that a bad thing? its actually quite easy to function on 4-6 hours of sleep. i'm such a victim of routine, i can easily go through a day of school with my eyes closed. i'm not really awake anyway, well, it looks like i am. i can walk to my classes, do my work, even carry on conversations with people while still half-asleep. although my plan isnt flawless. quite a few times i've found myself wandering around the hallways and i have to stop and think of what the hell i'm doing and what class i should be walking to. and lets face it, i'm not exactly an A student anymore. and 5th period, i have to struggle to keep my eyes open. if it wasnt for my daily diet coke that i buy after 6th period, i swear i'd fall asleep on the bus. so thats how i'm surviving right now, 5 hours of sleep and 20 oz. of caffeine...
today... today was... well... the same as every other day. nothing happens that differentiates one day from another. they all seem to blur into one endless... blah. well, endless is an overstatement. thats one thing i like about my school day, it seems like it's over before it even begins. i know i should be grateful about school, it's free education and all but whatever... right now i feel like it's doing more harm than good to me.
i feel so... so..... so..... BLAH! thats how i feel, everything is just..... bleg! the weather is cold and wet and grey. it's like the sky opens up and shits on me every morning. i have an essay due tomorrow about west indian culture in modern times compared to what it was like in the 1960s that i have yet to start. i feel like i'm losing touch with all my friends. and to top it all off i have a splitting headache and you know that little muscle or tendon or whatnot that connects the bottom of your tounge to the bottom of your mouth? well for some reason that thing hurts like hell and i can barely move my tounge. i'm in pain. i'm starting to wonder if 2 aspirin take away some of the pain... how well would the whole bottle work? no, i dont want to die. i just want to get out of here right now. i cant stand the sound of my dad and mom arguing because my mom didnt buy the right ice cream flavor for my dad. i thought you promised to love and to cherish eachother until death do you part. i want to go back to 1976 when you two got married and show you both how you're gonna end up. i've lost all hope for love. all the relationships i see are shit. the idea of a soul mate and living happily ever after is just a story created to keep us searching. for when we're looking for joy, we are blinded to the shit that is our reality.
song: of power ~ son of sam
posted by sarah 6:24 PM
