Dec 31, 2001
i think. forgive me. i want. go back. time. turn back. i need. hug. comfort. understand. confused. you're confused. try. what. you'll say. you'll ask, i'll have to explain. i can't explain. i'll feel. akward. dork. he. he pretends. pretends he's different. want to kill him. want to love him. want love. comfort. understanding. music. friends. god. no. lyrics. empty. no meaning. doesnt work. god. god? last resort. scared. inferno. hell. morning. shed new light. god. god. god. god. god. god. god. god. jesus. sacrafice. love. comfort. unserstanding. no. no comfort in a book. no understanding in a cross. scared. smite. hell. heaven. reward. boring. unknown. not enough. insatiable. you'll say. what. you'll be confused. ask me why. what the hell. try to preach. tell me i'm wrong. confuse the words. words. they are just. nothing. understand. please. comfort. hug. him. new. variety. new. he's new. he could understand. free. want. tied down. restrained. want to tell her. she doesnt trust me. loves me too much. worries. let me be free. mistakes. sin. temptation. god hates temptation. it tears us apart. god. god hates me. you'll say no. he's love. point to a verse. words. nothing. human. need actions. proof. creator. shit. i am. no explanation. dont care. go back. get away. free. go to bed. shit. footsteps. bitch. go away. die. hate. you wont understand. please. pain. longing. aching. scared. go to bed. nyquil. an escape. an end. temporary. wake up. confused. she new light. ashamed. have to call. explain. wont be able. you'll think less. you'll laugh. i'll die. broken. longing. aching. crying. biting. crying. cant. i'm dry. tears of comfort. i'm alone. alone. alone. alone. alone. alone. alone. alone. alone. want him. not sure who he is yet. last resort. in the back of my mind. always there. consuming. he'd be scared. he's naive. shallow. of this world. run away. find something more. cant. trapped. cant. cant. cant. cant. please. help. you cant. you wont understand. journal. write. cant. hide it. they might find it. what would they think. wouldnt understand. laugh. ridicule. me. ashamed. embarrassed. stupid. have to explain. what would they think. dont care. die. die. die. die. die. cant die. wont. live. live. actually live. enjoy. live. live. live. live. free. love. satisfied. cant. dream. help. comfort. understanding. truth. its a lie. forget truth. comfort. understanding. god. forget. cant. naive. dont believe. preach. you'll preach. pray for me. you'll think me wrong. blinded. sin. sin. sin. sin. sin. tempted. snake. satan. hate. satan. bad. god. bad. scared. smite. my life. understand. please. i want. i need. please. comfort. words. not enough. wont express. art. wont express. get it out. demons. crazy. free. comform. please. comfort. hug. dont let go. please. understand. try. please. understand. find him. he's there. must be. movies. books. songs. reality. shit. reality. not enough. restrained. cant. i cant. have to be good. sin. miserable. they say god. pray. salvation. joy. shit. salvation. nothing. miserable. alone. alone. alone. alone. life. no worries. religion. restrained. scared. watch over me. angles. they'll leave. have to stay. have to love him. obey him. for protection. from what. from him. god. you'll think me evil. you'll pray for me. you'll show me a verse. you wont understand. you'll make it a joke. laugh. i'll break. no understanding. express it. mock me. i'll cry. please. tears of comfort. no tears. dry. empty. alone. scared. alone. alone. alone. he'll think. what will they think, cant hold it in. let it out. demons. crazy. you'll think me crazy. new year. same problems. restrained. cant. want. help. please. understand. please. comfort. understanding. comfort. understand. understand. understand. understand. i'll have to explain. you'll call. wake me up. confused. want to know. i'll try. cant explain. no understanding. alone. stop the thoughts. an end. please. i'll look back. naive. laugh. understand. understand. please. you wont. i know. i'm not. i am. cant cry. feel. love. no. sleep. an end. temporary. not good enough. substance. lucky. free. want. jealous. why not me. blue sky. want. god. again. in my life. confused. obey him. love him. he'll protect me. respect. scared. satan. god. choose. either or. third choice. neither. they're the same. searching for him. find me. comfort. find me. understand. please.
posted by sarah 3:00 AM
