Dec 15, 2001
Entering normalcy
i am a 14 year old girl. why am i in such a rush to grow up? life is short enough as it is. i need to learn to just sit and enjoy it. there's going to come a time when i'm older when i'll sit and wish that i was 14 again. and now when i am 14, i wish that i was older. that's crap. i am 14. i am happy.
forget all my other posts where i complain about my life and act depressed. when i'm bored i get lonely, when i'm lonely i get depressed, when i'm depressed i complain about it on my blogger. i'm not depressed, i am at times but it always fades by morning. generally, i'm happy.
i think i'm getting carpul-tunnel syndrom (i know i misspelled that). maybe typing class wasnt such a good idea. an hour of typing every day plus all the time i spend online... it's not good. my fingers are in pain, my wrists ache. it's not good.
i dont care anymore about relationships. i'd so much rather have a friendship. i'm really very lucky for the friendships i have. i don't tell people i love them enough. to all my friends: i love you.
i feel so very unbroken. i've been mended. i feel... wise. every day i look back on my thoughts from the day before and i laugh and think of how naive i was. could it be that i thought this way only a day ago? i feel wiser than the day before. but at the same time i feel ashamed that i was ever so dumb. embarrassed of myself. i look in the mirror and i dont like what i see. my skin is pale. i have bags under my eyes. i'm a mess. i look so tired and...... well, broken. even when i feel alive, i look dead.
bottom line: i'm independent, i'm loved, i'm alive, i'm happy.
posted by sarah 11:30 PM
