Mar 14, 2002
songs of freedom
(written on february 7, 2002)
hard to believe. an idea once so revered. a truth once so obvious. a faith once so strong. belief in what i see. belief in what i dont see. belief in nothing. let down. no comfort in a cross. friendships keeping me strong. have to keep going. to stop is to die. to need a rest is to be weak. fragile. a broken spirit hidden by a skin of steel. tied down. struggling to break free. trapped. trapped in this concrete hell. solemn faces with searching eyes. stare deep into your eyes. try to see what you keep hidden. embarrassment. scared of who i am. scared of what i'd do if i was free. find joy in a book? find joy in a person? find joy in one's self? a temporary happiness. a smile can turn so quickly to a frown. heart broken. eyes burning. yet not tears fall from this wounded soul. no one would understand why i'd cry. point to a verse. then turn your back. they said he'd wash my sins away. now i'm drowning in holy water. this is too much for you to bear. i'll keep silent so you won't have to think about it. tell me your problems and i'll listen. fling yourself off a cliff because i'll be there to catch you... i always have before. well dont be surprised if this time you hit the ground. so much hate in you. well i'm jealous. i could never let my evils show. be upright and follow the rules. torture yourself in the name of god. pass the tests that god gives you. why am i always being tested? how can i believe in a god who doesnt believe in me? what was once so crystal clear is now darkness. and i dont understand.
posted by sarah 10:27 PM
