Mar 20, 2002
the meaning of life went down the drain
today was career day at bowie high. in 1st pd a guy from the NSA came in and showed us a polygraph (lie detector test) and told us about it. along with being an agent for the NSA he is also a "foreign observer" which he told us is the pc name for a sniper. hmm... scary. in 2nd pd two people from the cryptology (de-coding) department of the navy came in and talked. it was not too exciting because thats what my dad does. and i got the impression that they were just trying to recruit us, they gave us enlistment forms for christs sake! in 3rd pd a woman that works for the airport or something came in, i dont know, i wasnt really paying attention. in 4th pd i paid absolutely no attention, instead i sat staring at a blank computer screen contemplating time and existance. in 5th pd a woman from mary kay came in and told us about the exciting field of make-up retail. in 6th pd a microbiolist told us about her studies of using bacteria to fight the dreaded colorado potato beetle. she was really nice though.
i watched dogma with eric (my brother) today. thats a funny/great movie. alanis is god? i knew it!
i typed this to erin a few minutes ago and i'm afraid i confused her. i dont understand why, its so crystal clear.
"i have the notion that i should tell you something but i dont know if there's anything to tell and if there is then by saying it i make it true and i'd rather it not be true even though its nice but there's still the aspect of fear and if i tell you then it once existed in case the future brings about a different idea but you'll still know that this idea once existed and thats a scary thought because i could want to do away with that thought but its impossible to eradicate it when others are aware"
makes sense right?
i have an urge to write down everything i've been saying and thinking. i think that words should not be lost in time. and if they were not important enough to remember, then were they important enough to say? i talk a lot but i say very little. thats why i think i'm going to go the entire year of 2003 without talking. from january 1 to december 31, i'll simply not talk. i think it would be an amazing thing to do. someone remind of this in 9 months.
posted by sarah 8:39 PM
